Early 80s sci-fi TV hotness

From V: the series (the 1984 version, that is), Jane Badler and June Chadwick made up in preparation for a ritualistic, lesbotastic battle to the death.

They've been showing a marathon of the series on the SciFi Channel tonight (I'm sorry, I can't bring myself to type Syfy. Oops, I just did.). I stand by the fact that the original two miniseries hold up extremely well. They're dated to be sure, but the effects are good, they're scary and dramatic and definitely influential. I watched the short-lived series that followed voraciously as a kid but haven't seen any episodes in at least two decades, and had no idea that when it became a weekly series with what looks like a tenth of the budget of the miniseries, it immediately descended into an A-Team-style action show with a cast of four in the classic LA abandoned warehouse sets, interspersed with high camp scenes of intrigue and sexual tension set among the scheming Visitors, literally Dynasty on cheap spaceship sets. It's soooo bad, but kind of awesome. See above.

Two great tastes that go great together

The Village Voice has a fun slideshow, featuring Clams Casino, from the star-studded burlesque tribute to Dolly Parton held last week at Joe's Pub.

I love New Yorkers.

You know, the service change signs are so ubiquitous in Brooklyn I almost didn't notice.

I'm voting for Doucheoisie

Do your part! Go to Gawker right now and vote for the new term for "hipster."

Hop in our Chrysler, it's as big as a whale.

Hey, you've heard of these guys, right?

Check it, the next Casino O'Fortune Cookie Production at Joe's Pub!

I'm a somebody!

We filled out our census today! That's the first time I've ever done that. So adult. Not sure how I missed the last one; honestly, I might have gotten it and never opened it, who can remember mail from ten years ago? I was in my late-mid-20s, so young and irresponsible. But, anyway, it's kinda cool, like when I first saw my name in a phone book. Does anybody else think it's cool? Ok...so...ahem. Anyway. Moving on.

Oh, incidentally aren't you glad that the Federal government let us all know we'd be getting our census...by sending us a letter last week saying we'd be getting our census? Our tax dollars at work, everybody!

Fun to scroll through

Clams has participated in numerous photo and film projects dedicated to capturing the new burlesque, but I think my favorite is this ongoing portfolio by Leland Bobbe. His project is capturing formal, straightforward portraits of New York's performers, from the most established stars to the newest on the scene, and they're quite beautiful and don't look like anyone else's. Actually, a good way to get a look at the breadth of the burlesque performing community as it exists in NYC at this moment.

How did I not know this exists?

There is a TV soundtrack album to the Dukes of Hazzard? That came out in 1979? With songs sung not just by Wopat, Schneider and Catherine Bach, but by James "Roscoe P. Coltrane" Best himself? And oh, there's more:


On a related note, for years I fully intended to weld my car doors shut when I was old enough to drive. And Catherine Bach's shorts are a very important step in the development of Brett Rollins, heterosexual.

Here's the thing about Lady Gaga.

She's brilliant.

Have you watched the video? You should watch it. Yes, blah blah, product placement, blah, derivative, forgettable song, blah. It's fucking entertaining, period. Fun to watch, sexy as hell. So it's one long Tarantino homage, as if directed by James St. James: it's supposed to be a pop culture pastiche. Plus: pasties! Girls making out! And Tyrese is in it, but all he does is choke to death. It's putting a foul-mouthed, outre, gay sensibility into the center of mainstream pop music, and that's awesome. And it's only because it's so damn entertaining. And it even makes Beyonce interesting! (Seriously, she's cute, has a really nice voice and a great marketing team, but she's so boring.)

Lady Gaga is like Liberace and Madonna, not just in aesthetic terms but also in that she is 100% self-actualized. She's a downtown New York art star who used to go-go at the Slipper Room; I don't know Lady Gaga personally, but I KNOW Lady Gaga. And that's why she's amazing; she's putting that NYC realness-weirdness on the Hot 100 and teenage girls (and boys) in Ohio are eating it up. Tell me that's not to be celebrated.

And watch it again, seriously.

Interview time!

An interview about producing and hosting burlesque that I recently completed for the Examiner came out today, check it out! It's part of their ongoing series of burlesque profiles.

Zero Cool and Acid Burn

HBO has been showing Hackers a ton lately, and I can't help but leave it on when I come across it, it's truly an underappreciated 1990s touchstone. It is SO 1995! It is super stylish and fun, but suffers from the same problem all movies about computer action suffer from: trying to make something inherently static and nonvisual, people typing and staring at screens, exciting with lots of dubious digital animation of floating numbers and fractals, spinning steadicam shots and techno music. It does help to be able to watch sexy, young Angelina Jolie (when she was curvy!) and Jonny Lee Miller doing all the typing. (And bonus: Oscar winner for Best Documentary Fisher Stevens as the evil hacker, Plague!)

So, do kids born in, say, 1990 (you know, they're called college students?) look at this movie the way I look at, I don't know, Wargames? Like, haha, how archaic! They keep talking about modems! And look, is that a floppy disk? I remember those. In all seriousness, it is kind of crazy how ancient some of this seems, and it was fifteen years ago. And for the record, I saw Wargames in the theater too. It scared the shit out of me. Mommy, are we going to be blown up by the Russians? Quite possibly, dear.

Look, here's proof of how old I am in computer terms: this is my first piece of computer class homework, school year uncertain, unearthed recently from the Brett Rollins archives, i.e. my parents' basement. I got 100%!

AND she directed Point Break!

While Hollywood spent last night congratulating itself for finally acknowledging that you don't HAVE to have a dick to direct a movie, I actually really love that it was the industry's only legit female action/genre director who made that Oscar history. Of course, that in and of itself is a pathetic state of affairs; there are so few women directing big budget films (that aren't romantic comedies) that the group of us watching the Oscars last night were giving her credit for shit she didn't even make! (Nope, she didn't direct Deep Impact. That was Mimi Leder.)

Kathryn Bigelow also directed one of my favorite 80s cult flicks, and this should inspire everyone to check it out: 1987's Near Dark, the best Vampire Western ever. Of course, she was dating her soon-to-be (ex)husband James Cameron at the time, and gave most of his supporting cast from Aliens, which came out the previous year, terrific lead roles. Netflix that shit!

Almost like returning to the land of its birth

We have so many out of town adventures coming up, and this is the one I'm the most excited about: we're bringing the fourth annual presentation of our 90s tribute show, Smells Like Tease Spirit, to that apex of 90s pop culture: Seattle. In April, at the invitation of and in collaboration with the amazing Heidi Von Haught. It's going to be amazing.

I celebrate my 400th post!

By connecting you to the blog of my friend Melissa, documenting her giving up Facebook for Lent. I'll send her this link, and she can add my blog to her list of things to read instead of being on Facebook...and so the circle of life continues.

We're in one business: selling out venues.

This is me, shouting "die motherfucker" and shooting at Anita and Clams in the opening number of the sold out ROYALE WITH CHEESE: The Burlesque Tribute to Pulp Fiction at Joe's Pub on Saturday night--while Fisherman's trio plays Misirlou. Of course, I missed, and it's a fucking miracle and I want to acknowledge it!

The whole show was a fucking miracle; yup, sold out Joe's Pub, and a tremendous night with a fantastic cast. Some of Clint Hild's excellent shots of the whole show can be seen here on my Flickr page.